Guest Blog by Charlotte.
During my Counselling Retreat I found a priceless treasure; the support of a group of people who don’t judge me. It isn’t that they pretend not to judge me, they simply don’t, I am who I am, good bits and bad and that is it. It has changed my life.
What I hadn’t realised till that moment is how rare this is, because when you know people inside out and want them to be happy it is nigh on impossible to not judge, analyse or question the decisions they make, if only in the hope of helping them avoid the pain of disappointment or disaster.
I have had moments in my life that can only be described as car crashes. Everyone can see the impending doom except me and that’s when I get judged. It was those judgements that made it so hard to reverse decisions or seek support which is ironic as all those looking on were hoping and praying that those were the 2 things I would do.
A great feeling.
So I have established this is a rare gift and there are 2 people in my daily life I would consider to truly accept me for me, this doesn’t make everyone else bad, it makes them exceptional. It highlights that actually the norm is to judge and be judged especially where good intentions lie – but when we are at our lowest it limits the number of people we can turn to for the right kind of help on the right terms.
So who can you turn to?
In 2012 on my Counselling Retreat in Chiang Mai, I met people who helped me throw away the bad. All they saw was the best I had to offer and they pulled that to the front of who I am. That’s how it felt.
For the first time in a long time I felt peace; it was awesome. To keep that positive momentum going they introduced me to a virtual group of strangers who have all looked for the right people to help on the right terms. This group of strangers (who I now consider friends although we have never met) are often my first port of call when I am struggling, I go to them for impartial feedback on situations and the support to forgive myself if needed and the motivation to move forward.
Lessons I Have Learned
These are the things I want to pass on.
Being Judged Is Part of Life
This is a sad fact but it is important to hang on to the fact that the people who matter do have our best interests at heart. The rest don’t matter.
We Can Change
We can change and make the world a better place. Sounds idealistic but we can. We can try to understand rather than judge. Judging rarely changes the course of life and in fact can prevent necessary change, and we humans are quite resilient and can turn bad stuff around and be stronger because of it especially with the right support.
Golden Are The Non-Judgers
Hold on to those who don’t judge – they are higher beings!
Objectivity is Great
Sometimes the best advise comes from an external group who have the right distance and perspective to be objective rather than subjective.
Find Your Own Way
I found my way forward on a Counselling Retreat, but there’s all kinds of ways to get started; regular counselling, Life Coaching Holidays, support groups of all kinds, life change holidays…all kind of things that will speed it all
And lastly, remember even strangers want to help, never underestimate their positive power, or the positive power you have to them as a stranger.
Charlotte www.mulberrydragonfly.co.uk
Thank you for reading.
Click here for more information about Charlotte’s Counseling Retreat or to return to the top of the Counseling Retreat Holiday page.
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